Positives & Penalties: A Slapshot Novel (Slapshot Series Book 4) Read online

  Was it possible to notice pregnancy just by looking at her face?

  There was no way, right?

  "Um..." She pressed her brows together, unsure. Was she hungry? She hadn't thought about food since she found out she was pregnant, truth be told, and she wasn't sure how she felt about food now.

  To be honest, she hadn't experienced any pregnancy symptoms. In fact, the only reason she had taken a pregnancy test in the first place was because her period was four days late and it was never four days late. Even then, she was going over her routines and her diet, making sure she wasn't exercising too much and eating too little. Pregnancy was the last thing on her mind.

  Until it was her only explanation.

  "Yeah," she finally said, locking eyes with her father. She needed to appear as normal as she could be without raising suspicion. "Yeah, I'll take some chicken fingers."

  Emma had always been picky with the quality of her food. She didn't drink soda and rarely indulged in sweets. Her only exception was when she was at a hockey game. When she was here, she allowed herself to indulge in fried foods, sugar, and junk food. Every now and then, she would request a healthier option - fruit, chicken wraps - but her favorite was chicken tenders or unsalted pretzels with tons of nacho cheese on the side.

  If she didn't want her father suspecting anything, she needed to act like she normally would, which meant ordering what she normally did.

  "And a bottle of water," she said.

  "Chocolate?" he asked, standing up and tilting his head to the side.

  She grinned. "Kit Kat, please," she said.

  He nodded. "Be right back," he said and headed up the steep stairs.

  She let out a shaky breath. That wasn't so bad. She could do this. She could totally avoid telling her father about this.

  Actually, no she couldn't.

  Emma had managed to avoid him thus far. Considering they were at a hockey game, it was the perfect distraction for him not to pick up on how incredibly awkward she felt around him. But he would. Her father was a lawyer after all, and more than that, he knew her well enough to know when she was lying and when she was hiding something. Plus, she couldn't lie to save her life. Hell, if he looked at her straight in the face and asked if she was okay, there was no way in hell she'd even be able to respond.

  Because she couldn't lie.

  Which meant she needed to figure out how the hell she was going to handle talking to him about this because if she couldn't lie and couldn't hide this from him, she would have to tell him.

  But do I tell him before I tell Kyle? she thought to herself. I don't know the proper protocol when it comes to this stuff. I've never been pregnant before.

  'There isn't a proper protocol,' a voice that sounded suspiciously like Harper's pointed out. 'This is part of being a parent. You figure it out. And it's hard, yeah. But it'll be okay in the end. It'll all work out.'

  Emma scrunched up her nose. Sometimes, Harper's bubbly positivity made her want to pop a balloon. It was easier being on the outside looking in. Nobody knew exactly how she was feeling. Nobody could make the right decision for her except her. Because she was experiencing it.

  She just needed to figure out what the best decision was for us.

  "Hey," her father said, seemingly coming out of nowhere and taking his seat beside her. He handed her food and water. "You okay? You seem pensive."

  Emma nodded, forcing a smile that she knew was too bright into her face. "Just going over steps for the spring recital," she told him.

  He nodded, momentarily appeased.

  It wasn't long before the lights went down and the announcer introduced the Newport Beach Seagulls. Emma got goosebumps as she typically did at the start of the game. She forgot for a moment that she had this huge elephant on her shoulder, and instead, leaned back in her seat and focused on her boyfriend.

  Emma could see him clearly since their seats were just behind the Gulls' bench.

  He wasn't typically good looking but he was tall and built, and when he smiled - which was rare, especially on the ice - his entire face lit up and his crystal blue eyes sparkled, which took her breath away. He had blond hair and pale skin - growing up in Regina, Canada, was a cold experience, from what he told her - and a sharp jaw. Regardless of what was deemed typically handsome in this society didn't mean she believed the hype. Each time she looked at Kyle, remembered how dark his eyes would get as they looked at her, how his callused palms felt against her most sensitive skin, she shivered and felt her thighs moisten.

  'See, this is how you got yourself into this mess,' a voice pointed out. 'You're crazy about him.'

  Emma felt her lips curl up. "So what if I am?" she muttered under her breath. "There's nothing wrong with that." And despite what had happened, her feelings hadn't changed.

  Currently, Kyle was stretching across the ice, down on his knees on the ice. The groin muscle was extremely important in hockey and one of the muscles that was easily pulled during a game, especially for the goalies. Kyle was one of the few players who actually stretched on ice on top of skating and shooting during the warm ups. He never wore his helmet, which made no sense to Emma since he could get hurt, even during warm ups, but at least he got to see his face clearly, and at least he did choose to wear a shield.

  Shields offered protection against flying pucks and sticks. The NHL was now enforcing that all new players wear a shield despite their preference, though older players did not have to, including Zachary Ryan and Dean Morgan, one of the veteran defensemen that was tough as nails and just an asshole both on and off the ice.

  Emma pressed her lips together, taking in the sight of her boyfriend, the conversation she had had with Harper coming back to her. She loved being with Kyle. She loved being intimate him and talking to him and watching Netflix on his time off. During the hockey season, she pulled back because she thought he needed space and he hadn't told her otherwise. Plus, she had dance to focus on.

  But maybe, maybe Harper was right. Maybe they needed to take their relationship to a deeper level where they talked about the future and where they expected their relationship to go.

  Was that what she wanted?

  The more she stared at him, the more she realized that yes, she did want that. More than she realized.

  Chapter 3

  There was a tornado of emotions swirling in Emma's body as the final buzzer sounded and the Gulls won the game. They were officially going to the playoffs for the first time in their history. The entire team skated towards Brandon Thorpe, their starting goalie, and tackled him to the ground in a fit of uncharacteristic uncontrolled emotion.

  Emma jumped up and down, pounding on the glass in front of her, cheering her heart out. The unexpected turn her life was taken was momentarily forgotten. She let happiness sweep her up into a blissful state of ignorance as she watched Kyle, Alec, and Zachary all throw their gloves up in the air and hug. Drew Stefano jumped into the glass, his body bouncing off as the nearby crowd pounded on the glass, celebrating with him. The two older defensemen - Jackman and Morgan - had smirks on their faces, their eyes revealing their excitement more so than their gestures.

  After another moment of celebration, the players grabbed their sticks and held them up. Following Thorpe, they skated up and down the ice, waving their sticks at the crowd, as though to say 'thank you.'

  Kyle's eyes found her in the crowd and he gave her that crooked smile that made her heart skip a beat. All of her doubts, all of her worries, simply vanished.

  Things were going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

  "What are you guys doing tonight to celebrate?" her father asked her, tilting his head down so he could whisper in her ear.

  "Probably Taboo," Emma replied. "It's a team favorite."

  It wasn't long before the crowd filtered out. After kissing her father on the cheek, Emma slid into her seat, waving at Madison Montgomery, one of the Gulls' Ice girls who cleaned up the ice during commercial breaks and provided fun entertainment
such as shooting t-shirts into the crowd. They were also known to rally the crowds, trying to garner enthusiasm and loud cheers. They also assisted with the various charity events throughout the year.

  Madison and Emma had gotten close simply because Emma had been dragged along to a variety of charity events with her father and didn't have anyone to really talk to before she officially started dating Kyle. There were rumors she was dating a player but Madison hadn't said anything to Emma, and quite frankly, Emma didn't think it was anyone's business anyway, regardless of whether it went against policy or not. And she wasn't going to push and ask who it was, even though she was curious.

  Madison gave her a grin and waved back, skating off the ice with her fellow Gulls Girl, Amanda.

  When she was left by herself - save for the ushers who began cleaning everything right away - she let out a breath. Her thoughts turned back to her stomach - rather, what was in her stomach. She hadn't even attempted to figure out her due date but now that she had time to kill, why not?

  She grabbed her phone and went to the first website that offered to calculate it based off the first date of her last menstrual cycle.

  She had always been pretty good at keeping track of that just because she wanted to know so she could schedule her classes around it, if she could. Not that it was so bad she didn't want to work through it but she would rather curl up with a good book in front of her fireplace and fall asleep on the couch, listening to the flames cackle into the night. She loved to be alone when she was on her period because she tended to get aggravated easily and she didn't want to snap or take it out on anyone. Especially not Kyle. Especially not her father.

  Both men seemed okay with this, even though they wanted to be there for her if she ever needed them to be. Emma had always been independent and just because she was in a serious relationship with Kyle wouldn't change that all that much. Though there were times she relished in the fact that if something happened at one of her classes or one of her friends was being a bitch, she could call him and vent. And since dating Kyle, Vince had stayed away for the most part, which was a welcome relief.

  She typed in the date - February 2. She remembered because they were already planning Vegas and she was ecstatic that by the time they were over there, she would most definitely not be on her period anymore. On top of that, she didn't have to worry about Valentine's Day considering she would be ready to go at that point.

  November 9.

  Currently, she was five weeks pregnant.

  She let out a shaky breath. This made it real. She had an estimated due date of when this baby was supposed to arrive. Considering it was the middle of March, she had a lot of time to prepare.

  If she was planning on keeping it.

  She clicked her phone off and leaned back in the chair, her eyes looking at the fresh ice. The Zamboni had just cleaned it and now it glistened under the lights. She still had a few minutes before she would head out and walk to her car. There was something so peaceful about being the only person in a hockey stadium, staring at a fresh sheet of ice. If she spoke, her voice would echo through the building. The lack of people made it even colder. She smiled. Despite the turmoil she was currently facing, it was nice to be somewhere calm, where she could forget her problems for a little while.

  "You almost ready to head out?" a friendly voice asked.

  Emma turned her head and smiled at her favorite usher, an older gentleman named Steve. He was average size, with greyting hair and glasses. He was retired, portly, and soft-spoken. The perfect person to have a hockey conversation with since he was originally from Canada and was actually a Vancouver Grizzlies team.

  She nodded and pushed herself into a standing position. She would meet Kyle in the locker room, which she was allowed to head towards once the stadium was clear and the press was gone. She took the elevator down and upon recognizing her, the secretary waved her through, past her desk, down a long cemented hallway that housed both locker rooms, plus a smaller one specifically reserved for the Gulls Girls.

  There was a bench outside the home locker room, and Emma took a seat on the leather cushions, waiting for Kyle to emerge. Normally, Harper would already be here due to the fact that she was technically press and was actually given first dibs on interviewing players because she was their official blogger. However, she wasn't there and Emma wondered if she and Zachary had already left. And if that were the case, did that mean the group was still going out like they planned?

  Or maybe Harper insisted they leave early so Emma and Kyle could be alone. Which would be just like her. The problem was, Emma didn't know when to tell Kyle, how to tell Kyle, where to tell him. And she wanted to make sure she took care when telling him because this was a big deal and she didn't want to scare him off.

  Because what if he left her as a result of this?

  Emma clenched her teeth together and looked away. She hadn't allowed herself to really think about this but she also couldn't deny it, either. She might claim she was only thinking about herself right now, rather than about how Kyle was going to react, but the truth of the matter was, she was afraid. She didn't know if he would be happy or if he wouldn't want anything to do with her. They were happy together and they did make plans - this summer, he wanted to bring her back to his place in Regina so she could meet his parents - but they had never talked about marriage and kids.

  Should they have?

  They had been together for nearly two years now. That was a serious-type of relationship for both of them. It hadn't even crossed her mind, however, to think about marriage and babies just yet. She was just a year out of college. She didn't think she was ready to be a missus, to be a mom, just yet.

  Why do you assume that having a child automatically means getting married? a voice asked. Because it doesn't. People have babies out of wedlock all the time. It's not even a big deal anymore.

  That was true. But what if he tried to do the right thing - supposedly - and proposed just because she was pregnant? She didn't know if she wanted to be married to the guy. She did know she loved him. She knew she didn't want to be with anyone else.

  But marriage?

  Emma sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

  "Hey Emma!" a familiar voice shouted.

  Emma turned and found Madison Montgomery emerging from the Gulls' Girls locker room in a pair of boyfriend jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with nautical styled stripes. She had a Gulls cap over her dark, wavy hair, which billowed around her as she walked over to her friend.

  "Hey Madison," Emma said with a smile. "Great job tonight!"

  Madison grinned. "Thanks," she replied. "It feels good actually being on the ice rather than being in the crowd. Not that I don't appreciate the whistles and the ass-grabbing, it's just nice to take a break from it all." Her blue eyes glanced around before resting in Emma's once more, a curious look on her face. "Where's Kyle?"

  "Probably taking a shower," Emma replied with a shrug. "We didn't really get a chance to talk before the game so he might not realize I'm waiting for him."

  Madison wiggled her eyebrows. "Or he's waiting for you to go in there," she replied. "I think everybody else left so if Kyle is still in there, he might be the only one." She smirked and Emma laughed.

  "And what about you?" Emma shot back. "When am I going to meet this mysterious boyfriend of yours?"

  Madison chuckled. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said but even she couldn't stop the pink blush from gracing her high cheeks. "I'm graduating this year so I need to focus on that. I only have a couple of months before graduation."

  "Sure, sure," Emma said, rolling her eyes. "Have a good night!"

  Madison waved back. "I am serious, you know," she said, turning around so she could keep eye contact with Emma but continued to walk. "All the players are gone. I would check up on Kyle. He may have a surprise for you. You never know." With one last wink, Madison spun around - nearly running into a cardboard cutout of Alec Schumacher - and headed for the elevato
rs that would take her to the main floor and to the parking lot.

  Emma shook her head and glanced back at the locker room. If there was no one else there, it couldn't hurt to make sure Kyle was okay. He had a rough game - two guys, two penalties, and no points. In fact, the Stars had scored while he was on the ice so he was a negative one for the game.

  Emma had noticed he wasn't playing as well as he could have been. She wasn't sure when it started but it had to be within the last few weeks. She hadn't thought to ask him why because she figured he would have told her himself at some point, when he was ready to share that information.

  She was so stupid, she realized.

  Kyle was just as guarded as she was. He wasn't going to go out of his way to tell her anything if she didn't notice that on her own.

  She took in a breath and stood up.

  At least she knew what she needed to work on. At least she could start making things right, at least on her end.

  Because she did want him. She wanted to be with him. And maybe they could figure out the next step out together.

  Chapter 4

  Emma tentatively walked over to the locker room. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to knock or simply go in. She did know she didn't want to walk in on any naked players who weren't her boyfriend so she knocked a few times before placing her ear on the door.

  Nothing.

  No sound. No movement. Simply... nothing.

  She huffed a breath and opened the door slowly, waiting for anyone to shout out that they were changing or to close it but nobody did. Instead, she found herself stepping into the locker room and letting the door fall gently shut behind her. She glanced around. The smell of body odor tickled her nostrils but the scent of freshly-used showers helped curb it to a minimum. Or maybe that was just another new pregnancy symptom - a heightened sense of smell.

  There was a large Gulls logo in the center of the carpet. It was bad luck to walk over the logo no matter who you were so she made sure to stay at the edge, taking in the beige wood. Each player had his space. A name plate was placed above each space and jerseys were hanging, ready to be plucked by the laundry crew to wash them at some point tonight.