Black Eyes & Blue Lines: A Slapshot Novel (Slapshot Series Book 2) Page 5

  Before Katella could finish that thought, Negan lunged for her. His hands grabbed her face and he slammed his mouth on hers, demanding the kiss rather than asking for permission. Katella knew she should push him away, but she found she couldn't.

  Actually, that was a lie. She didn't want to push him away.

  Chapter 7

  The kiss was like shooting stars, exploding around Katella. It was like opening a can of soda after shaking it up too much, causing her to pop and fizz. His hand clutched her cheek and his other grabbed the back of her head, clutching her to him as though he was afraid she might push him away, disappear from his grasp. His mouth found hers easily, and when his lips met hers, it felt like coming home, it felt like taking a breath of air after drowning. She didn't understand but she knew she had never been kissed like this before and she was worried she would never be kissed like this again. Her fingers found his hair because she had always wanted to run her fingers through the silky brown locks, something she never would admit, not even to herself.

  The kiss made her insides liquidize, dripping down her thick and slow like caramel. It also made her feel light and airy, like she had the ability to fly. It was a good thing he had a solid hold on her or else she might slip away.

  His tongue slid into her mouth with ease. She didn't even try to fight him on it, not when it felt so good, so right. Her fingers curled in his hair, tugging the roots just enough where he could feel it. He let out a groan of approval and her mouth opened even wider. His hand dropped from her cheek to take her chin and he tilted her head back so he had even more access to her mouth. His hand dropped from her head so it could press against the small of her back, pushing her closer to his body. She could feel her sweat stick to her wife beater and his hand was getting slick but he didn't seem to care so she didn't care.

  He took a step forward so she took a step back, leading her backward until her back hit the wall. Somehow, they managed to keep connected, his hand sliding from her back to her waist, clutching her hipbone like it was his possession and he wasn't in the mood to share.

  When it was finally required to suck in some kind of air, Negan pulled his head back but only just so, his head resting on her forehead.

  "Fuck," he said, breathless. The hand on her chin dropped so his palm rested on her chest, his thumb caressing the edge of her collarbone.

  Before she could even process what that might have meant, he leaned in and started kissing her neck, rough, territorial kisses that teetered on the danger zone of leaving her with a hickey. Which she definitely did not want as a grown twenty-six-year old female. But that didn't stop the groan from coming out of her mouth whatsoever. Her head tilted back, giving him more access to her flesh, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

  How did he know to kiss like this?

  "I love the taste of your sweat," he told her, the sound vibrating on the sensitive area of her neck where it met her shoulders. The sensation was causing tiny lightning bolts to shoot straight to her pelvis. If this didn't stop, she would be dripping for him. Her pelvis was already throbbing, a painful, pleasurable thrum beating against her walls like a drum.

  This needed to stop. He shouldn't be able to make her feel this way.

  But she didn't want it to stop. And judging from his hardness pressed proudly against her thigh, he didn't want it to stop, either.

  His lips trailed away from her neck and to her center so they found her collarbone and then the beginning of her cleavage before her tank top prevented him from going any further. Her head was spinning due to how overheated her body was becoming. She clutched onto his back, balling his shirt in her fists because if she didn't hold onto something, certainly she would be melting right now.

  This wasn't smart. And yet, as he continued to kiss her, she couldn't bring herself to say anything to him. It felt too good. Their kiss alone was cause to completely reevaluate her stance on Negan. Was it his kiss or the fact that she was still getting over Matt? She wasn't sure. It was muddy and convoluted and she didn't want to think about it or anything.

  Negan was the last person she thought she'd turn to, the last person she thought she wanted to be intimate with, but she was wrong. He was... everything she had never felt or experienced before. God, he felt good. He felt real and solid underneath her. With Matt, she was always afraid he would disappear on her, as though she never really had all of him. Now that she knew that was true, it was odd to experience someone so entirely present, someone grounded and in the moment, that she didn't want to lose sight of this. This was what she wanted. This feeling of... realness. Solid and security and safe.

  And yet...

  Negan cheated on his ex-wife.

  Negan had never insinuated he wanted anything deeper with Katella. Hell, she hadn't even realized he had wanted to kiss her in the first place. She thought he was annoyed by her, wanted nothing to do with her except poke her until she erupted.

  Now, though...

  And she knew she liked being around him.

  That was the problem.

  She liked him. And the fact that he was such a good kisser only added more complicated feelings to the mess that surrounded her. If they went all the way, if they did have sex and it was as magical and as passionate as she thought it would be, she would be done for. She would be in love with him faster than she could recite the alphabet. Because there was that potential that she could fall for him, even knowing his past, even with his attitude.

  She couldn't risk it.

  His hands lifted from her spandex-clad waist and his fingers found the skin underneath her shirt. Her breath hitched in her throat. Either that or Negan consumed it. He was still kissing her like a lion drank water, constantly, not breaking for a second. His fingertips were rough and calluses, something Katella expected - but they were also warm and gentle. She could feel the strength of his hands, the way she knew he could break a bone with them if he wanted to, but there was something in the way he touched her that promised he would never harm her. That if she just trusted him, he would catch her every single time.

  She fell into them, prolonging this a little bit longer. His fingers scorched her skin, almost as though his fingers were brands and he was marking his territory on her skin. The way her entire body erupted with goosebumps was enough to make her feel that way, and she wondered if he noticed.

  He probably did. Negan noticed everything.

  Even without his hand controlling her chin, his tongue was enough to position her head properly. As his fingers drew mindless patterns on her soft skin, his tongue continued to battle with hers. His stance was domineering to the point where she had to tilt her head back in order to allow him access to even more of her mouth. Nobody had kissed her so thoroughly before.

  His fingers continued to move upward, tracing the indents between her ribs, all the way up until it reached the wiring of her bra. She pulled away from him, her entire body frozen under his touch. Somehow, her eyes found his. This wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want to look into those eyes and fall even further.

  But he was staring back at her and she had never seen his eyes so open before. They were both breathless; she felt good knowing she wasn't the only one who found it difficult to function. She couldn't pull away from his gaze, no matter how hard she wanted to.

  She wondered if her eyes mirrored his own - filled with awe, slight disbelief, and so many questions. Why did this happen? Why did it feel so good? Will it happen again? Did she even want it? Did he?

  He hadn't removed his hands from her stomach and his fingers continued to trace mindless patterns on her skin. He paused another moment, and without warning, brought his lips back down on hers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him even closer to her.

  This needed to stop. If this didn't stop, things would get out of control. She would lose herself. She would lose herself just the way she did with Matt. Because she had the potential to fall hard for Negan and if she went any further with him, she would. And conside
ring he couldn't even stay faithful to his wife, there was no way he'd be able to do the same for her.

  So this needed to stop. It had to stop now.

  "We can't," she managed to breathe out, putting her head down and looking at the top of her Nikes. She clenched her teeth as an entire feeling of wrongness completely consumed her and she had to struggle to ensure nothing slipped out that would indicate she was weak. However, having said the two words out loud made her realize just how true they were. She picked her eyes off of the ground and locked eyes with him. "We can't."

  He didn't look pleased by her statement. His teeth were clenched together, causing his jaw to pop. His eyes were narrowed, his brow furrowed, but there wasn't a meanness about his stare. He wasn't glaring. If anything, he was... disappointed, which wasn't a typical emotion she would have associated with Negan.

  "Why?" he growled out, still refusing to let her go, clutching her to him as though he was afraid she would turn away from him all on her own.

  "Because you're right," she told him. She wasn't afraid to be honest with Negan - completely and one hundred percent honest. It was easy to speak to him, easy to tell him how she truly felt. Which was odd, because she never knew how to express her feelings to anyone before. "You're right about everything, Negan."

  "What the fuck am I right about that prevents me from taking you against the wall?" he asked, quirking his brow. His voice was still frustrated, still rough and husky. She could only imagine the wicked things he could say with that voice and the effect it would have on her body. She shuddered just thinking about it.

  "I am pathetic," she told him. She wasn't too proud to admit it, even to him. "Matt treated me like shit. He didn't actually love me but he respected my grandfather too much to breakup with me. Once my grandfather died, when I really needed him the most, he bailed. Because you're right again: everyone was there for Seraphina. I know the two had a different bond than me and my grandfather did but I know he loved us all the same. Hell, I was there for Seraphina. And I'm not bitter about it, I promise. But it would have been nice if someone had been there for me."

  Negan nodded his head once, understanding flashing in his brown eyes. "What does that have to do with us?" he asked, pushing his brows together.

  "Because I always knew that it wasn't forever with Matt," she told him, "but I gave him all that he would allow me to give, hoping I was wrong about him. I wasn't. I know myself well enough to know that if we have sex, I'm going to want you emotionally and physically and I'm going to project romantic fantasies on you that I'm sure you want nothing to do with."

  "You like me." It was a statement, not a question. A statement that said he was somewhat surprised but that the idea wasn't unpleasant.

  Katella nodded once. "I do," she said. "For your many flaws, I do. And that's why we can't have sex. Even though I want to." She stepped out of his grip and squeezed his shoulder, hoping the gesture came out platonic and meaningless. "I'll see you tomorrow, Negan."

  And she walked out of the gym without looking back.

  Chapter 8

  When he touched her body, he set it on fire. His fingers ran up and down her body like a skilled guitarist who knew how to pull all the right strings to make her sing. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her back arched off the bed, and when he claimed her as his, there was nothing between them, not even space.

  Not even air.

  His thick member filled her to the brim. She cried out, something he couldn't help but approve of. He only spilled himself inside of her after he shattered her. She was like a boiled noodle, boneless and fluid, unable to make anything in her body firm and stable.

  Jesus, he was amazing. He was the best she had ever had, which sounded like every cliche she absolutely hated but it was also true.

  Her eyes snapped open. Her pelvis throbbed and she knew her dream was much more real, at least, for her. She could not believe she dreamed of Negan fucking her. Her body was traitorous. Her unconscious was a liar. She didn't want him.

  That was a lie.

  After yesterday, he was all she could think about. This was all her fault. Why did she let him kiss her? Why hadn't she pulled away the minute he placed his lips on hers?

  Because he was that good. Because she was addicted to his kisses and now she had to face him every day and know she had no right to kiss him again. Not when there might be feelings involved.

  There were feelings involved on her end.

  Katella shook her head as she yawned and stretched she threw her legs over the bed and padded into her shower. Seraphina was probably up and at the office already, especially considering it was game day. She was probably reviewing every info guide that was printed up for each person who would walk through the door for the seven o'clock game, do a personal walk-through in every section to make sure it looked in top shape, and ensure the team store was organized and showed off the latest merchandise. It gave Katella some time alone, which was nice, and she was able to walk around naked if she wanted to.

  After her shower, she threw on a scoop neck Gulls' shirt. It was faded navy blue, tight on the chest, loose below, and black low-rise jeans. She wore a simple pair of black chucks and pulled her wet hair back with a headband. She grabbed her purse and headed to Sea Side. There was one thing she needed to get from the players now that their outfits were finalized, and since morning skate was held at the NHL side of the ice, she wanted to grab them after practice so she could check off one the last things she needed to do before this coming Saturday.

  She parked next to her sister and when she walked in, a burst of cold air hit her hard. She wished she brought a jacket but she reminded herself that she was heading down to the locker rooms, where it wasn't as cold.

  By the time she reached them, the practice was over and they had showered. Cherney was making some speech about tonight, but he was wrapping it up. When she walked in, he nodded at her.

  "So let's come ready tonight," he concluded. "Now, Katella Hanson needs to get some quick feedback from you. If you'd all give her your attention."

  Katella felt her cheeks turn red as the gazes of the players fell on her person. Typically, she had no problem speaking in front of a small group of people, especially in a leadership position. Now, however, it was as though her body was honed into where Negan was at every second. Even without looking at him completely, she could still make him out from her peripheral. He stood by Brandon Thorpe, behind the majority of the team. It was odd to see him standing next to Thorpe. It was clear the two weren't close but maybe Thorpe's stoutness was a character trait Negan could appreciate. They could be brooding quiet players together.

  Get a grip, Katella, a voice in her mind said through gritted teeth. You're here for one reason and one reason only. You have a job to do.

  She pressed her lips together and forced a smile on her face. Those who knew her, really knew her, would know that the smile didn't quite reach her face.

  "I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for coming out yesterday," she said. She felt her arms gesture which was never a good sign. Whenever she thought too much while speaking, she used her hands way more than she needed to. "Everyone got final measurements for this weekend and I got Thursday as our pickup date. Make sure you all have your slips but they've all been paid for so unless you want to buy the tux for yourself, there's no reason to charge you. Please make sure you return your tux no later than six pm at Nordstrom on Sunday. Do you have any questions?"

  A couple of the players shook their heads. No one said anything. She felt her heart sink just a fraction. Not even Negan had some kind of smartass comment. Huh. Was that disappointment settling in the pit of her stomach? It didn't matter. Him speaking would only throw her off and that was the last thing she needed.

  "Okay, the last piece of information I need from you is your plus one," she said to everybody. "Just food allergies and their relationship to you. For the rookies on the team - and yes, I'm including Ryan, Negan, and everybody else whose first seaso
n with the Gulls - we like to put all the wives and girlfriends together so they can get to know each other, talk, bond, that sort of thing. Typically, they create their own event at the end of the season - the fashion show we host at The Newport - so we like to get to know them. It's a real family thing. Everyone gets close." She clapped her hands together and raised her brow. "Okay so I have my phone with me-" She pulled out her smartphone and brought up the notebook app. "I'm just going to go down the line and get whether or not you're bringing a plus one, and, if so, what their food preferences are."

  Katella went down the line, starting with second line right winger Drew Stefano. No plus one, all family was in Canada since he was traded from Edmonton to the Gulls. Zachary Ryan would clearly be bringing Harper Crawford. Kyle Underwood would be bringing Emma Winsor. Alec Schumacher had no plus one, which was odd, considering he typically brought his flavor of the month. Thorpe wasn't bringing anyone - no surprise there - and the backup goalie Jimmy Stafford wasn't bringing anyone either. Dimitri Petrov wasn't bringing anyone, which shocked everybody, including Katella.

  Dimitri wasn’t a player, exactly, but even if he was going through a nasty divorce with his wife, Katella thought he would at least bring one of his children. If that was even allowed. She pressed her brows up and marked his response down, hoping the surprise on her face wasn’t completely obvious. She didn’t want to hurt Dimitri’s feelings or make him feel bad he was attending alone. If anything, that might make him more desirable and he might turn over more money than he would have with a plus one.

  Way to stay positive, Kat, a voice in her head murmured to herself.

  She went down the list. The majority of the players had no plus one or were bringing a family member. A handful – the veterans - were bringing their wives while a select few were bringing girlfriends.